


Well done, Reggie!

by peasoupish



Category: Agatha Christie's Poirot (TV), Jeeves & Wooster, Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Poirot - Agatha Christie
Genre: Crossover, M/M, War of moustaches, the big four
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21973015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peasoupish/pseuds/peasoupish
Summary: Hercule Poirot invited Bertie Wooster to stay with him while Jeeves was on his week holiday. When Jeeves came back, he found there were something quite different of his young master, and definitely not in the way he would approve. The unseen war between those two great brains has began. But who is the winner?
Relationships: Hercule Poirot/Bertram “Bertie” Wooster, Reginald Jeeves/Bertram "Bertie" Wooster
Kudos: 10





	Well done, Reggie!

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers alerts!!! If you haven’t read The Big Four, please read the book first! 
> 
> This piece of work was something I’ve written a few years ago on the tube. So the first parts are dialogs and the later parts are in narrative form. It’s a little bit hastily while I was writing it. Maybe I can make it better at some stage.

On the party held by Sir Roderick, Poirot the great detective was sitting next to a table happily sipping his syrup while talking to the Lord Yaxley, a wealthy man-about-town. When they were chatting about the case of the Western star, a clumsy guy has tumbled through the entrance. 

"Isn’t that my better-than- nothing nephew Bertie? " Lord Yaxley cried,"What on earth is he doing here?"  
"Pardon?"

Before Lord Yaxley had time to introduce his newphew, the clumsy chap has squeezed his way in front of them. "What ho, Uncle Geroge!" he said.  
"Ah, Bertie. Let me introduce you the great detective Mr. Hercule Poirot. My nephew, Bertram Wooster." Lord Yaxley introduced them heartily.   
Bertie raised his glass and said joyfully: "What ho! I say! You are not THE Hercule Poirot! Oh yes, of course! the moustache! Good god!"

"Enchanté M. Wooster. You... have heard about me?" Poirot felt flattered.

  
"Battler?"

"Battler Hastings, I’m sure he is your friend? That’s what he told me."

"Ah, _mon ami_ Hastings!" Poirot said, "So you are friend of his?"

"Jolly good friend Battler is!" Bertie said excitedly "We play golf together. He used to be my senior in Eton, lent me lots of his collections of Sherlock Holmes stories. Ah, old days."

"So you are interested in crime stories, M. Wooster?"

"Of course the crime stories are great fun, but those detectives are the better part. One always admire the one with great brain you know."

"Certainly."

Bertie looked around :" Where is Battler anyway, I didn’t see him here?" 

"He is in Argentine now, managing a ranch with his wife." 

"He’s married! Good lord! I haven’t met him for ages, ever since he send his first novel to me, _The Mysterious Affairs at Styles_ , jolly decent story, absolutely first rate! In which I heard about you, M. Poirot! You’re really a marvel!" 

"Thank you. M. Wooster you are very kind."

Bertie happily mentioned his irreplaceable valet Jeeves: "You know my man Jeeves has a great brain as well? For all the fishes he ate...It’s such a pity he’s not here tonight, I really wish to see who is the smarter one. it would be so interesting, what?

Poirot felt interested: "Why he is not here, this Jeeves?"

"He’s enjoying his week holiday. Leaving me all alone at home. This blighter! (takes out his pocket watch) I guess he’s reading his Spinoza now." 

"M. Wooster. You just said you’re interested in crime stories?"

"Yes, that’s what I said."

Poirot smiled like a cat: "Perhaps you would like to stay with me for a week when Jeeves is not here? I have, in my possession, Hastings’ first drafts of some stories that have not yet been published. I think you may be interested to read them."

"good god! Are you serious?"

Poirot explained: "You see, my man George has to sort out some domestic business, so I gave him a holiday. It would be nice if you can come here and join me for this week."

"I say, that’s jolly decent of you. I can get a bit practice of my French. But..."

"What’s the matter, M. Wooster? If you have any problem, then don’t...."

"No no matter, I really want to go. It’s just... I’m not good at housekeeping you know, like cooking or others."

"Ah, that is not a problem. I’m sure you’ll like my cooking."

"Well..."

"So that is settled?"

Bertie nodded: "I’ll move to your flat tomorrow. 14 Farraway Street, huh?"

Poirot smiled:"That is correct."

......

During this period, Bertram Wooster has learnt a great deal of eating and dressing.

Poirot: A growing of the mustache is an art. I have sympathy with all who attempt it. What do you think, M. Wooster?  
Bertie: Yes, rather.  
(Jeeves: 😡)

Bertie: I say, M. Poirot, your slippers look very elegant with your initials on it. I should have something of my initials on it. How about a monogrammed hand kerchief? I can put in my pocket.  
Poirot: Excellent!  
(Jeeves: 😡)

Bertie: M. Poirot, what scent are you wearing? Smells really nice.  
Poirot: You like it? I can recommend them to you. (Hand him a bottle of French lady’s perfume)  
Bertie: Good, I shall get some for myself as well.  
(Jeeves: 😡)

Bertie: I say, what are you cooking? Smells absolutely delicious!  
Poirot: This is my favorite dish when I was a boy. You will like it. (Serving him from a well-polished sliver pot)  
Bertie: I say, that’s really good! The meat are absolutely tender and tastes extraordinary! What exactly the meat you use? Mutton?  
Poirot: It’s rabbit.  
Bertie: oh, well...at least it tastes very mce.  
(Jeeves: 🙄)

A week later, when Jeeves came back from his holiday. He found there were something quite different of his young master, and definitely not in the way he would approve.  
Jeeves had an idea in this mind.

......

After successfully getting rid of Mr Wooster’s ghastly awful mustache( details recorded by Mr Bertram Wooster in Jeeves and the Feudal Spirits ), Jeeves wished that the one who was responsible for this affair should also learn his lesson.  
Being a collector of all the rumors and gossips among the upper class, by a chance Jeeves learnt that Steve, the deputy chairman of the Junior Ganymade Club (while the one in the highest position is always a mystery), whose employer is named Claude Darrell, even though he never write anything on the club book showing he will never change his employer. This Claude Darrell, no one has ever heard of him, he seems to be someone of no importance. But Steve, as far as Jeeves know, is a ruthless cold-blooded working machine. He does everything ever so efficient and seldom made any mistakes. He seems to know everything and meets every important member of the social network.  
Jeeves has wondered what is the occupation of Steve’s master. He must be someone who is powerful with great social networks, and requires such a loyal, brainy helper who can collect each single clue and remove any possible evidence. A criminal, Jeeves thought, it has to be a world-class criminal.  
Now it’s time M. Poirot should learn his lesson.

Jeeves started to guide his young master Bertie Wooster with a imagine that Poirot will start the greatest case ever in his career: chasing a gang of international criminals.  
It’s not hard to let those young masters having some affairs related to this. They are by no means intelligent after all. Soon there were some funny stories added to the club book. And Jeeves noticed that Steve was absent for a day.

It’s time to leave. Jeeves wondered.

The next day, Mr Wooster has, once again, messed up his relationship between some young ladies and been chased by his furious Aunt Agatha.  
‘Jeeves, we have to leave this place!’ Young master yelled.  
‘To what destination, sir?’  
‘The United States, Boston! We have to leave immediately.’  
‘Very good, sir. The ship to America leave this afternoon at 4pm sir. If we start to pack our luggage, it’s still possible to catch that.’  
‘Then don’t wait, Jeeves. We have to  
catch that ship.’  
‘Very good, sir.’

.......  
  


One year later, after Bertie Wooster has again messed up the relationship of his friend Bingo Little and his fiancé, again has been chased up by a group of people. He and Jeeves stepped on the ship which returns to England.  
Few days later, they arrived Mr Wooster’s residence: the Berkeley Mansion. Passing by the reception, the concierge has stopped him.  
‘Mr Wooster, here is a parcel for you.’  
‘A parcel? From whom.’  
‘It signed....well, it signed Arthur Hastings.’  
‘Battler! Good lord!’  
Jeeves took the parcel and they went upstairs.  
After unwrapping the parcel most impatiently, Mr Wooster found it is a book in it and a letter came with it. He read aloud:  
‘Dear Bertie,  
How is everything going on? This book has recorded my recent adventure with  
M. Hercule Poirot. He told me you are very interested in my stories and suggested me to send you a free copy. Hope you will enjoy it. I’ll be in London for the next two months, maybe we can meet someday when you came back.  
Yours sincerely,  
Arthur’  
‘Jeeves! That’s Captain Hastings’ new book! “The Big Four” , nice name, what?’  
‘Indeed, sir?’  
‘I’ll start to read it.’  
‘Shall I run a bath for you, sir?’‘  
Yes, thank you Jeeves.’ He said while leaned back on this sofa and started to read the novel.

The next morning, surprisingly, Jeeves has found his young master was awake at 6 o’clock and greeted good morning to him.  
‘Good morning Jeeves. I was reading this book all night! It was absolutely amazing, you know what? Poirot has sacrificed his mustache to catch the criminal! Good lord! Achille Poirot, what an interesting name!’  
‘Indeed, sir.’  
There was an unobtrusive smile curved Jeeves’ lip.

The next day, when Jeeves stepped in the Junior Ganymade Club, there are something new on the notice board:  
Due to unexpected reasons, the deputy chairman ofJunior Ganymade Club Mr Charles Steve can no longer show up in the club. The committee has agreed, with over half of the approval votes, that Mr Reginald Jeeves will be the next deputy chairman of Junior Ganymade Club taking charge of all events at regular basis.

Enter his new office in the club, Jeeves noticed that there is a note on his table:  
‘Come through the door’  
Jeeves now notice that there was a hidden door in the room. He went through the door and it lead to a secret room. It’s labeled: The Office of the Chairman.  
He knocked the door gently. It was opened by a man so familiar to him. This time, even Jeeves was shocked.  
‘It’s you, George!’  
‘Nice to see you again, Reggie. It was my master’s idea to treat you with a better position, even though I’ve always thought your are quite suitable for being the deputy chairman. My master wish to thank you for your contribution to the world’s safety and stability. And he also thought you’re the only person who’s able to make him sacrifice his precious mustache. Well done, Reggie!’

The end.


End file.
